One Month Progress Report

Holy crap it's been a month since Eisley was born. Why does it feel like forever?
I've decided to not write the birth story on my blog. It's too graphic and too painful to relive. Everyone who told me childbirth was a breeze: you are now on my list. :) Okay not really, but it was a lot harder than I thought it would be. And don't get me started on the recovery!

Basically, this whole month has been a lot harder than I thought it would be. I didn't think I'd get the baby blues. I did. Hard. I had to hand her to Jacob several times and just walk away because I couldn't take it anymore. I didn't think I'd be hormonal. I was. I cried every day for the first week for no particular reason. Just cried. I thought I'd breastfeed for longer than a week. I didn't. I physically couldn't. Formula has saved my sanity and keeps my baby fed, and I won't feel bad about that. So this month has been full of surprises.

But I think the biggest surprise is how much I love this girl. I mean, I look at her face and my heart melts. It wasn't like that at first, I won't lie. But now, at a month old, I can't be anything but happy when I see my little girl. And she's really the BEST baby. She already smiles at me and her dad. She has an internal timeclock like I've never seen and knows when it's time to eat, time to play, and time to sleep. Thankfully, she's already skipping her first middle of the night feeding, so we can sleep from 9 or 10 to about 3 or 4 most nights. Hallelujah for that. Sleep = Sanity. And she's just an all around chilled out, calm, happy baby. One thing I will mention from her birthday is that right after she was born, they put her on my chest, and I kept asking what was wrong with her because she wasn't crying. She was just lying there, looking up at me, not making a sound. I thought for sure something was wrong with her lungs. Turns out, she's just calm. She was just soaking up life.

So a month later I'm feeling pretty good. I still worry about the little things. Why are her eyes goopy? Why hasn't she pooped? What did that squawk mean? But mostly, I'm enjoying her. And I took this video of our morning talk to show people how cute she is. This is our daily routine. I lie her down and put my head next to hers and she tells me about her day. I love it. I love her. And I'm learning to love this new thing called motherhood. Give me a break, it's only been a month! :)